A new place .... that feels like an old place ... but different

The past comes roaring to meet me ... often. Less these days, but still it comes like an old friend who has worn out their welcome. You know the guy - nice most of the time, funny, playful, but undependable and dishonest - full of potential but tragically flawed and self-destructive. That is my past. I've come to terms with it, grown through it, overcome my self-destructive self. The memories linger - they are tied to every heartbreaking, poorly ended, lacking closure relationship I have ever had. Many were brought upon by my self ... that same self-destructive self that told me that I would never be good enough, smart enough, able to finish, close, or deliver on promises made in earnest.
And so, out of habit, and an ended relationship - he comes unannounced through the front door, into my house ... and I have a choice to make. This time, I listened to each word, each claim, each fault explained ... and respectfully told him he was full of shit.
I had some help - some encouragement in the process. Someone turned on a light and I could see that this old place ... the grey and mud-colored carpet, wood walls, and box beams ... wasn't my old place. It just felt like it was. It was a bit dark for a time, but just needed the drapes to be opened, the windows un-shuttered, the cobwebs and dust brushed off.
Through that bit of effort - I find this is not such a bad place - it actually has a lot of character. My perspective has changed ... blink, breathe, relax ...Look with new eyes at this place and see the opportunities to grow, improve, renew.
I like this new place, it's not perfect, but it has potential.