I feel like I have gone over this so many times. But then, when you lose the wife and mother of your children to cancer, I guess abandonment, attachment, and related themes will repeat themselves.
What's important ... what's the secret to Happiness? Mitch Albom, in his book, Have a Little Faith (Hyperion, 2009) gives us his two cents. "When a child comes into the world, his hands are clenched ... because he wants to grasp at everything ... the world is mine. When an old man leaves the world, his hands are open ... he has learned the lesson ... you can take nothing with you. The sercet to happiness ... Be Satisfied ... Be Grateful ... For what you have, for the love you receive and for what God has given you ... That's it."
Sage words from an author who is so adept at showing us the beauty and transience of life.
Below all of that gratitude is TRUST. Trust that there is a larger plan, that the universe is on a perfect path, that injustice will ultimately serve God's purpose because God can turn the faults of man and make them levers to activate the hearts of those who can and are willing to change. Change themselves through growth and self-assessment, change the world through vision and inspiration.
So, where does it all lead? ... tonight I have not the foggiest idea. I wish I did. I do know that it is better to believe that our pain will turn to hope ... loss will turn to compassion ... less will become ample ... and the least shall be exalted. I want to experience this ... I say, "God, I want a full life ... I want it all" ... and in the process I am blessed with self doubt, insecurity, fear ... above all fear. And through all of that, I learn to Love, to trust, and to be grateful for all that I have, for the love I receive, and for what God has given me. That's all there is to this life ... all that I really know, believe, and hope for. I am sure this will come up again ... it has for thousands of years ... attachment, prosperity, now ... all teach of the transience of our life here on earth and ask us to look for your rewards within our hearts - faith, hope, compassion, gratitude, and service ... I ... I am working on integrity ... that my words and actions align in all directions, connotations, directions, steps ... that I may act and be in harmony with every act, utterance, and leaning - ultimately holding to the highest standard of thought and deed. Yeah - I know - good luck with that. It is worth striving towards ... funny that I have no shortage of persons willing to point out my inconsistencies - the loudest being the ones I love the most.
And so I pray "God - in all of your glory - make this imperfect one serve your greater and higher purpose ..."
Til next ...